dew and the Mist 

Till now you have read – Kusumita  a young girl from a poor family is forced to marry Nihaar Singh who is heir of a rich family of Delhi.  Soon she comes to know the reason behind their marriage as Nihaar has a dark past, his first wife Radhika’s mysterious death. 

In last part 19, you read Kusum leaves Nihar, but soon returns as she realises she must give him a chance to explain.

Part 20 : dew and the Mist

Kusum hurriedly entered the house and kept her bags. Dadimaa looked at her and pointed her finger towards the terrace. She immediately took fast steps to reach the terrace. It was glaring dark on the terrace and she stared hard to locate Nihar.

She then saw him, he was lying on the railing and staring at the stars. Her heart sank and she turned numb for a while. Soon he noticed her and hurriedly got up. He came closer to her and hugged her tightly. She started crying.

‘Kusumita, please say something, don’t cry like this. I know it is because of Radhika’s file. Please give me a chance to explain.’

She broke away from his embrace with big dews in her eyes but forcefully he hugged her again. She tried to free herself but he didn’t let her come out.

‘Kusumita, listen to me. I didn’t lie. I had no clue about the file, just a few years back only I came to know about it.’

She looked at him with disbelief, ‘But you could have refused, why you took?’

‘Kusumita, I never wanted it but Radhika’s father forced me; he wanted me to honour what Radhika wanted.’

‘Radhika wanted?’ She was surprised by the revelation.

‘Yes, she had no siblings and she wanted me to take it as it her father was too much burdened. She did discuss it with me once but I never thought she was serious about it, and then a few years later her death, her father gave me the papers.’

She was stunned, why she didn’t think about it?  Her hidden fears didn’t let her think of any other reason. She was embarrassed. She believed his eyes every time he blundered but today, she failed. Her tears started to flow. He understood her tears, wiped them away and brought her closer to him.

 ‘Nihar, I am so sorry. I doubted you. I didn’t try to know the truth. I ran away from knowing it, I was scared to face it. You know, I think I always had this somewhere tugged in my subconscious that you were guilty of her death. So, I presumed the truth when I saw the file. ‘  

He listened to her with total attention as she gazed at him with love and continued, ‘But you know my heart told me again and again, you can never be wrong…’

He wiped away her tears, holding her closer. ‘And what else your heart told you?’

‘It forced me to come back to you, to talk to you.’

‘Kusumita, you were not wrong, anyone in your place would have thought the same but I am glad you came back to me.’  He chuckled and kissed her; she could taste his tears.

His eyes brimmed but then suddenly his voice choked, ‘Kusumita, today I felt like losing my life once again, dying again and it’s all because I never told you anything about her. You know, I had promised myself that I would never talk to anyone about her but today nothing is more important than you in my life.’

‘Nihar, Please, I don’t want to know anything…’

‘No, this is very important for our relationship. I cannot see you doubting me again and again. I cannot risk it.’

She was confused and looked at him for an explanation.

His eyes struggled and his fingers trembled as he looked into her eyes, ‘Kusumita, Radhika’s death was not an accident…’

‘Not an accident?’

He paused again, hugged her tightly and cried out loudly, ‘…she committed suicide.’

‘Suicide…?’ she was shocked beyond.

‘Yes Kusumita, she committed suicide in front of my eyes and I could do nothing. I can never forget her eyes, every moment they haunt me. They were in pain, helpless… I couldn’t understand them; I just could not stop her…’

His cries pierced her heart; she wanted to take all his pain within her and she prodded him cautiously, ‘But why…?’

‘I don’t know….’

‘Nihar, there must be some reason…’

‘Kusumita, we were very happy together. I could never understand any reason for it. To date, I cannot still believe that she took this step. All that I could understand is that she committed suicide because of me.’

‘Nihar…’

‘Kusumita, we were in Manali for our honeymoon. I wanted to surprise her and came out of the hotel to buy flowers for her but when I returned, I saw her standing near the edge of the mountain. I shouted at her but she flung herself. I can never forget her eyes which looked at me with pain and nervousness.’

She was shaken by the truth; it took a while for her to imbibe it.

She then asked, ‘But why she? Was she stressed? Depressed?’

‘No, Kusumita, she was perfectly all right. She was very bubbly and always cheerful.’

‘Then…?’

‘I came to know the reason after a few days but to date, I don’t believe it.’

He paused…. she waited…

‘Her post-mortem report said she was pregnant.’

‘Pregnant….? But why she would commit suicide?’ She was now more shocked.

‘I never believed her report. We never had any physical relation; the report was a lie. It was all shit.’

‘Nihar, but why they would give a wrong report?’

‘No, I was the only man in her life. She could never betray me; she loved me only.’

‘Nihar…’

‘She loved me and me only. Please why don’t you understand?’ and he completely broke down, fell on his knees and cried out loudly; she was aghast to see fear in his eyes.

She again tried. ‘But Nihar you are running away from the truth.’

‘Radhika is no more. I don’t want to know the truth. I don’t believe whatever that report said. I only know she loved me…!’

She felt helpless, she was confused. Nihar had so much inside. She could now feel the pain he must have gone through, the agony, the helplessness and all that he kept inside to protect her honour but she was very eager to know the truth.

‘Nihar, how much do you trust Radhika?’

‘I trust her more than my life.’

‘Then have faith in her love, find the truth and face it.’

‘But Kusumita, why it’s needed now…? It’s a long time now and why do you want to do it? I don’t want to know anything. She loved me and nothing else matters to me.’

She could see him vulnerable, shaken.

‘Nihar you are doing the same mistake which I did, running away from knowing the truth.’

He became silent, trying to absorb what she said.

‘Kusumita, it is possible but my heart is not ready to believe anything else. She cannot carry anyone else child. I don’t want to know anything.’

‘Please Nihar, we have to find the truth; you will never be able to come out of her memories.  It’s very important for us.’

‘Please No.’ he was still not convinced.

‘Nihar, please say YES. We have to do this. We have to find out the truth.’

‘I am not sure. You don’t understand, her report was wrong…..Kusumita, please don’t force me.’  And he hugged her like a child; his body trembled.

‘Nihar, I don’t want you to be in pain. If you think it doesn’t matter then fine, I shall not ask you anymore but think about it. Take your time.’

He sat and closed his eyes; his eyes were now mistful. She stared at him with respect.   

‘Nihar, I am puzzled, how could you carry so much inside?’

 ‘I could not tell anyone about it; no one would have believed me. In a few seconds, my world was shattered and if others would have come to know about her pregnancy, then it would have stained her reputation. I could not let this happen. I closed each and everything about her death, the police case and also me.’

She held his hands, ‘I am so stunned. I don’t have words. How much you loved her? You took all pain inside to protect her?’

‘Kusumita, all these years I could never understand why she could not confide in me. Now I understand it’s all because of my anger. Yes! It’s my anger! I have realized how much my anger scares everyone. But then I could have never be angry with her, I loved her so much.’

‘And on me?’ she looked at him jealously.

‘Not on you also since I realized I am in love with you.’

‘You never said that.’ her eyes twinkled.

‘I never said that? I told you so many times but still, you never understood Mrs Kusumita Singh?’

‘Yes, my heart understood that’s why it asked me to come back but I want to hear from you.’ She laughed.

Her big black eyes dazzled mischievously.

‘Kusumita, I love you and this is the biggest truth of my life.’ He said softly, his eyes turned moist.

‘I love you too despite you being a stubborn devil.’

‘Is it so? Now I will do whatever I want because you have already declared me as a devil.’

‘Whatever?’

‘Yes, whatever I want.’ he lifted her in his arms and took her to the bed.

Today she felt him light, very light.

Next – Kusumita in search of Truth.

Rakhi Sunil Kumar