Not like an Equation!

Life is neither a problem to be solved nor an examination to be cracked.

Over the past thirty years, under the studentship of his father Giri was trained to believe that hard work only yields success. Like an equation, if you do this, you will get that in return. He was told, academics are the foundation for a good life. Being truthful and sincere are necessities of life. It would have been deliberate from his father, Giri, that Sekhar was never allowed to doubt the society and systems where education, living style, and beliefs are stereotyped.

Sekhar entered the world to live by himself with a job and a wife. Five years into the life…

*****

Sixty years old Giri travelled overnight by bus to meet his son Sekhar. He knocked on the door, calling his name, “Sekhar….”

The time was around 10 a.m. Someone unknown to him opened the door. Giri entered the house with hesitation and asked the person for Sekhar. He was shown a bed on which Sekhar was lying. He could not control his emotions seeing his son in that state. He had tears in his eyes.

Giri asked the other person to bring coffee for Sekhar. He asked Sekhar to get up. Sekhar was feeling very weak and could get up with great difficulty.

Sekhar asked his father, “Why did you come? How is Amma? Why did you leave her alone at home.”

Giri replied, “Why you did not answer my phone calls? You are also not going to the office regularly. You have become thin. Tell me what has happened. Your mother is worried about you.”

Giri insisted, almost giving an order, “Please take bath, we will have some food. You have to get on the bus in the evening, back home.”

Sekhar said, “I will be fine soon. Just one or two lessons from life. It will become normal.”

After a moment of silence, Sekhar said, “Lot of things have happened in recent months, it is two months since Lata walked away from me. Until a month back I was trying to reconcile but she refused. Now she will never return. I have a problem in the office too.”

Giri was surprised, he never expected to hear such a piece of news. He knew about Sekhar’s misadventure about a property deal. Sekhar had bought a property, along with one of his friends, after paying advance to the broker. The broker ran away with the money. Sekhar did not inform his parents, which surprised Giri.

Gradually, over the last four years, Sekhar stopped sharing about his life happenings and drifted away from the course, his father would have expected from him. 

Giri was now disappointed to hear about his daughter-in-law. Lata was from a good and well-to-do family. Sekhar liked Lata.  Marriage was a great celebration. Everyone enjoyed. It was four years since they got married.

Giri told his son, “Sekhar, we will discuss everything later. I don’t want you to lose heart and spoil your health.”

After a while, father and son sat for a talk as insisted by Giri. Sekhar was averse to prolonging any discussion concerning his life, especially with his father. Giri was worried about why his son was not sharing any information with him.

“No never. I want you to keep away from this problem. We reached a point where no more reconciliation was possible. She does not want to conceive children. She found new ways to explore her artistic talent. Family impedes her progress. When I insisted, she found me old fashioned.”

“Did you talk to her father?” Giri asked.

Sekhar vehemently refused.

Giri insisted again “Why did you keep me and your mother in dark? You should have communicated to us earlier. I want to meet Lata.”

Sekhar replied firmly, ”How many people will you meet and solve my problems? I paid my friend in advance for an apartment. He lied and swindled that money.”

He continued “In my office, my lady colleague got the position which I was aspiring from my boss.”  

Sekhar looked at his father with impatience and helplessness in his eyes. He told his father, “You should know the reality. When I blame myself for this mess why should I seek anybody’s help?” 

Giri was surprised and disappointed to see Sekhar in a completely different and unexpected character. He always believed that his son was an extension of himself. He was very confident of Sekhar’s conduct in any situation.

Giri said, “Anyone can be at fault but mistakes should not break relationships and lives.”

Sekhar said, “It was not a mistake or error that created the problems. My character, my beliefs, and my conduct everything is not correct, here, in this world, we live.” He continued “For the last four years of my life, I failed to measure up to the worldly ways.  I found that my earlier twenty-five years of life did not teach me anything.”

Giri intervened, “Why do you say that? Are you the only one suffering like that? There are so many like you, you must keep learning throughout your life.”

Sekhar said “You never taught me that way. The books I followed till now, never trained me for this world. I remember you made me attend great lectures by great seers and I tried to get a gist of those teachings from the learned. Everyone spoke of Dharma, righteousness. My mistake was that I took seriously of every teaching. I believed you were all sincere in what you said. It is quite surprising that everyone in this society around me, including my mother and grandfathers, has hidden facts for the sake of good life. Every one of you accepted the changes in the system and went on living. Still always continued keeping and praising our social system and history for sincerity and truthfulness. I don’t know why elders hide the fact that chance works more often in life. All people live a life of imperfectness. You left everything for me to experience and learn.”

Giri was stunned. What Sekhar said, had so much truth in that. There was nothing to add as a comment. Yes, fathers and grandfathers of every generation continued the legacy of speaking half-truths as complete truth. All lived a cosmetic life. 

“You need not worry. I will also learn to adapt to just required, insincerity, to tell truth only to that extent required. I will trust people and relationships around me with a pinch of doubt. That includes you, your wife, and any other relation.” Sekhar concluded.

Giri left with a lot to think about and analyze.

Sekhar settled to believe that happenings have no bearing on the rules of the social system, expectations, hope, or belief, at least not as an equation or a formula.

Vallinath Mangalampalli