Part 17: dew and the Mist

‘The Sun Shines, The Mist fades’

Kusumita realised she was alone in the Farmhouse. She looked up, the dark black shadows of the mountains scared her and the roaring sound of the waterfall got onto her nerves. She ran inside the bungalow but then the lights went off. Terrified she tried to look in the darkness.

She was now damn scared. Her sixth sense sensed danger and told her again and again to escape. She started thinking in all directions. She remembered her mobile phone. Quickly she called Dadi-ma but there was no network.

After a few attempts, she stood completely numb as the darkness terrified her. Scared like a timid rabbit, she started running from one end to another, hardly realizing that she had come out of the bungalow area. Suddenly she stumbled down into a marshy pit and was submerged in the mud. She tried coming out but the more she tried, the more she sank. Slowly she gave up and became unconscious.

After some time, she gained consciousness as strong lights pierced her eyes, she saw the headlights of a vehicle beaming in stark darkness.

She then heard someone shouting her name…

‘Kusumita…. Where are you…? Kusumita…’

She recognized it was Nihar’s voice but she was not able to see him. She wanted to call him but had no strength. Her whole body was numb and soaked with mud. Suddenly she saw him approaching her with a torch in his hand. She again tried to call him but couldn’t find her voice.  She raised her hands but then he didn’t see. Helplessly she waited for him to see her but then she was very disappointed as she saw him moving away.

She closed her eyes in despair, not wanting to think of her fate anymore. The mud was pulling her down, it had reached till her nose, she was sinking deep, hardly she could breathe.  She was now very sure that her death is near and all moments of her life started playing like a movie in front of her eyes. Her childhood, her parents, her marriage, Nihar, his eyes and his anger….

Taking a deep breath she prayed to God for the last time, thanking Him for the life given to her, no complaints! She closed her eyes tightly and waited for the moment when the last breath would come out of her body.

Suddenly her cell phone rang, she opened her eyes quickly and saw it blinking at a distance, her dead eyes brightened up and she was filled with hopes. It must have fallen when she had stumbled. Soon she saw Nihar running towards her.

He came closer and saw her.

‘Oh God…!’ And thinking on his feet, he left swiftly. Soon he came back with a rope and threw it toward her.

‘Kusumita, hold it tight.’ He shouted.  

She fluttered her eyes and then closed them back; she had no strength left.

He shouted, ‘Kusumita, please don’t give up, please for God’s sake…!’

She could see him but had no strength to respond. He ran back and tied the rope to a tree. Then holding the rope, he came inside the pit. He tied the rope around her and dragged her out of the pit. After bringing her out, he lifted her in his arms and rushed inside the bungalow.

He made her lay on the bed and cleaned up all the mud from her body. With a blur vision, she saw him rushing in and out of the room many times but had no strength to say anything. She could hear his voice only. Slowly she went to sleep.

After a few hours, she woke up and saw him sleeping on a nearby chair. Completely in sense now, she remembered what Mohit had told her about Radhika. Doubts lingered on her mind, scaring her more.

She kept staring at him, trying to find an answer. He probably sensed her gaze on him and opened up his eyes. As their eyes met, immediately he got up from the chair and came near to her.

He kept his hands over her forehead, and asked, ‘Kusumita, how are you feeling now?’

She nodded assuring him, hiding the dilemma she was in.

He leaned on her shoulder, ‘Kusumita, how could I leave you like that?’ His eyes were red and misty, and the dewy tears were stuck on his eyelids.

She stared at him blankly, for she could feel repentance in his voice. She took his hands in her and pressed them warmly. Then she placed her arms around him, she could hear his heartbeats. He immediately hugged her tightly as if he will never let her go.

He almost sobbed, ‘Kusumita, I would have lost all hopes to live, if something would have happened to you.’

She did not say a word, tightened her embrace, she wanted to assure him that she was with him, but inside she was indeed disturbed.

He then released her, “I will get some hot soup for you. You will feel much better.’

And he left the room.

She stared at his back, and was again into deep thoughts, ‘Why do his pain-filled eyes touch her so much that it makes her forget how much angry he was with her? She simply forgot that he doubted her, and left her alone in the farmhouse, she could forget her life was in danger. Simply she has forgiven him.’

She was not able to understand anything, why her heart was filled with tears.

For the next few days, she took a rest for her bruises to heal while Nihar tried to be with her most of the time. They were together most of the time, but they hardly talked though there was so much to talk about and sort out. The truth was she lacked the strength to talk and he probably did not want to face those questions.

One night she went in search of him and found him lying in a hammock on the lawn, gazing at the star-filled sky. She went near to him, and asked, ‘Nihar, what are you thinking?’

Without taking his gaze away from the stars he said, ‘Kusumita, for the last many years, I was searching for an answer and today, I think I have found it…’

She was surprised, ‘What was the question…?’

His throat choked, and he struggled as if it was painful for him to confess. He stared at her hesitatingly for a few seconds. She took his hands in her to assure him.

He nodded, and said, ‘Kusumita, for last so many years, I always wondered about it. Like a thorn, it was stuck in my heart. Neither it was letting me live nor letting me die. I was going insane thinking about it. But now I think I know the answer.’

His voice was soaked with tears and her heart bled.

He continued, ‘Kusumita, I always wanted to know, why she never trusted me. I loved her so much but then why she could not confide in me? Today I realized it was all because of my anger. She was scared of my anger, my reactions… She could not trust me. Now I know the answer.’

His voice was soaked with tears and her heart bled.

‘Nihar…’

‘Kusumita, I always knew I had extreme anger but today I have realized the extent I can go to. But Radhika knew it and she was scared of my anger. She could not trust me, she could not confide in me, she could not tell me anything.’

‘Nihar, what she could not confide in you?’ Kusumita was very much eager to know it, today she felt he had opened up and she could not keep the curiosity to herself. Suddenly she felt, he could do no wrong to Radhika.

‘Kusumita, I just wish I can tell you everything but some things are so personal, they cannot be shared with anyone.’

Saying he got up but she was not ready to give up, and asked, ‘Nihar, Was her death an accident?’

He did not answer. She then took a deep breath and waited for him to say.

After a long pause, he said, ‘Kusumita, again, I almost lost you because of my anger.’

She smiled, ‘Then why do you do so much anger?’

He smiled at her and then took her in his arms. ‘Forgive me once more, I promise, from today I will not let you complain anymore.’

She felt him real, no pretence, she was touched by how he had shared his deeper thoughts, and felt all her fears flying away, her doubts emptying her, filling her with hopes. Her tears dazzled and blocked her vision; her face brightened up.

He touched her lovingly, ‘Kusumita, I have found the answer to your question too!’

‘My question….?’ Confused, she asked.

‘Yes, that day you had asked me, why I became so upset with your NO.’

She eagerly looked at him.

He smiled, ‘Not now, I shall give you my answer at Delhi.’

She nodded. She will wait. She now knows he is hers and as he bent to kiss her, eagerly she went in his arms. He lifted her in his arms and brought her to their room. He kissed her intensely as he lay down her on the bed, the sensations were making her crazy, and her eyes were moist with his need.

He laughed with a twinkle in his eyes, ‘Not like this….., I want to see the madness in you.’

She smiled and kissed him with an intensity driving him breathless.

He was pleased……and said, ‘I like this…’ And he brought her closer to him, she embraced him tightly.

Rakhi Sunil Kumar