Did I make it?
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Did I make it?
Who’s gonna decide really! Career-wise and socially did I climb some stairs on the ladder of success? My story does it need to be told…? Is it going to let’s say inspire anyone!!! I doubt it but there is a story to be told at least when I’m having a platform and maybe a handful of readers!
Where I am at this juncture of life, almost stable and let’s call it an almost successful career, mother of an about-to-be teenager, almost stable home and family, and most importantly I have a voice and most of the time I can take a call in most matters. That sounds simple but most women know it isn’t! Even career and financial independence can keep her bereft of a voice or a say. And how do we get there…how did I get there…
Childhood had been a cakewalk almost. Women commanded huge respect in my family, my mom was stay-at-home, and so was my grandma though exactly not independent they were fiery and feisty and of course my single independent aunt whom I idolised since childhood. There was that bug of freedom which stung hard growing up in small towns of Assam and in the big city blessed with nature’s bounty, exploring nature, encounters with perverted men, it was terrifying at times, but the toxicity of freedom loomed large in general. To explore, to seek, to discover the books I read in real life… the taste of freedom was highly toxic.
There was this general push towards education from my family, towards reading and no never I was told I’d be married off and that I should learn all matters relating to chores and household. In fact, not have much urge to learn the basics also, it was all study…study, well I did learn the basic life skills but as it was with my father, I grew up on anecdotes of people toiling it hard, of people excelling in education under taxing circumstances.
Though I was above average to good where I studied but on the larger platform, I was soon turning out to be mediocre almost. But that didn’t deter the urge to be independent, though ambitions receded I always knew I had to be on my own.
Perhaps that led me to do different odd jobs with little pay and I was on a wild goose chase for jobs! Some teaching jobs after many rounds of interviews with a meagre salary would want me to wear sarees for work. I’d call my bestie from a phone booth and weep almost, ‘I can’t keep this job, they want me to wear a saree!’
For those who can’t get the sarcasm of this, my house was just on the foothills, and I had to walk downhill for five/ten minutes to catch a madly crowded bus or a shared auto, needless to say, I was clueless about draping a saree, and even if I learnt to, catching a bus after the dreaded walk-in saree was impossible and hence the decision! Well, it does sound absurd but that’s how it was!!
My wanderlust mind took me to the pine forests of Barapani near Shillong, where I was on my own for the first time that too as a temporary teacher! I know that wasn’t necessary but the freedom tasted exotic, lingered on my being and my parents acceded to their obstinate daughter and supported her in her quest for a career, they accompanied me to different odd places I went for an interview somehow they believed someday I was going to get what I deserved!
And one day I got an offer letter for being selected as an air traffic controller after a written test and interview I appeared long back. I remember one of my uncles’ remarks, ‘ Seems after a long struggle you landed where you deserved ‘… Was it…the procedure was long but it wasn’t struggling always…it was fun, new jobs, new prospects, new dreams and I don’t remember brooding ever! Well as my uncle rightly said this job was an answer to my endeavour and after rigorous training, I was posted in one of the largest airports in the country. I wasn’t exemplary, but I just stuck around and once I got the hang of the job, I loved it. Once I’m in love there’s hardly any looking back.
Well, last seventeen years I’ve been doing this job, with a change in the profile of course. Initially, there weren’t many women in this job – to erratic schedules, stressful and many women shifted into some other lateral positions. But few of us just held on, watching few seniors and without many options, soon Delhi sky reverberated with lot many female controllers. My job gave me the foothold I needed and yes, many failed-successful relationships later, my job stood by me and I had stood by her.
Somehow, I feel the need to narrate to women – job, and career is no less than family, even if it’s a complacent Sarkari one, let’s toil it out for our job as we do for our families. Let’s find our voice, our passion…I know easier said than done. Turbulent relations, tough times…there’s self-respect, financial stability career bestows, one gets through, one survives and one can afford to fail in other aspects of life.
I almost made it. I’ve been true to my career, not overly ambitious, but passionate, I’ve raised my girl with full-time help. I could not give her all the other moms have. But she would know her mom worked for a living, and both of her parents toiled hard, she would know working hard and having a career isn’t a choice, it’s the only choice. This is my story of course, of how I made it, from a distant town to a one-time male-dominated world. This does not anyhow demean the story of stay-at-home moms who found their voice or foothold or who are bringing the change we want to see in our children.
But then…I made it…many can. It’s a tough world but having my voice heard is worth it…and may make way for many more voices to be heard.
Soma Bhattacharjee