Don’t Call me Aunty !
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BELONG ANYWHERE
The Chinese traveller Hiuen Tsang visited India in AD 637 and wrote about his observation in his book “Si-yu-ki” (Record of the Western Countries). According to him the caste system was rigid but women would get an education and there was no purdah system, the common people were simple and honest. Though it had many religions, there was complete tolerance among people of all religious faiths.
Such cultural accounts are very important in today’s globalized world.
As Chief travelling Officers of our own life, we must take account and respect other cultures, especially when in other countries. Being in IT Industry, I have been privileged to travel across the world and meet people from different cultures and spheres of life. In this series, I am sharing a few stories based on my experiences while working with people across the world.
What is your story?
click here to read all stories of BELONG ANYWHERE https://www.storyberrys.com/category/series/belong-anywhere/
Story 2: Don’t Call me Aunty !
Earlier, in the Indian context calling an elderly lady ‘Aunty’ would be considered a sign of affection and respect towards women. In fact, calling an elderly person by their first name was considered rude.
During my first visit to the USA in year 1999, I was still learning a lot about Western culture. Of course, there were some Do’s and Don’ts guidelines that were briefed before leaving the country, but the majority of the instructions were about “How to behave professionally at the workplace – Learn in an hour”.
After a couple of weeks in the USA, I was invited by an Indian colleague to one of their weekend gatherings of the Indian community. I was excited. I was happy as I could see familiar faces (not exactly I knew them, but faces which seems familiar to my roots) and taste some authentic Indian food. So, I was kind of overexcited.
Once there, I wanted to meet and express how happy I was, and then I wanted to make everyone happy and comfortable. During such interactions, one of the families I met was originally from Mumbai (Bombay). We chatted about the places in Mumbai, current news, etc.
After the event was almost over and people started leaving, the family whom I had met, came to me and told my friend to bring me to their home some time.
In my excitement, I said, “Sure, Aunty, I will come!”. For some reason, I found that she was shocked. I could not make out what happened. Her husband and young daughters broke into a smile.
She (Aunty) stared at me for a while and said “Don’t call me Aunty!”. Then they left. I could not understand why she was upset.
My friend’s wife started laughing loudly.
I said, “Bhabhi Ji what happened?”
She stopped laughing and said, “Bhabhi Ji?? what’s that? Why do you have to use a relationship at all?”
I was very scared. I never had such an experience earlier. I was clueless.
My friend jumped in and told me that here everyone likes to be called by their first name, despite how old they may be, especially true about ladies. Even if Shanta is 80 years old, that does not make her granny, unless her real grandchildren are calling her so. Otherwise Shanta or Shan is just like that.
All my teachings to respect by age etc. went for a toss. I said sorry to both of them and thanked them for teaching me these new cultural tit-bits. I was still sad as I had lost an opportunity to get homemade food from Aunty. Sorry, no more aunty. But I could not remember her name either and had no daring to ask my friend too.
In an intercultural environment, communication is key and we should not look at the differences as difficulties, but as opportunities to learn something new.
So, if you are beginning to work on a new project or new to the organization, then please do explore the cultural aspects of that region or organization. It will help prepare you well.
Dinesh Kumar Singh