Part 14: dew and the Mist
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Till now you have read – Kusumita a young girl from a poor family is forced to marry Nihaar Singh who is heir of a rich family of Delhi. Soon she comes to know the reason behind their marriage as Nihaar has a dark past, his first wife Radhika’s mysterious death.
In last part 13, you read how Kusumita sees Nihar at Terrace in drunken state.
Part 14: dew and the Mist
Kusum woke up after some time and was surprised to see Nihar sleeping beside her, and holding her tightly. She froze, couldn’t think of what to do. She held her breath and tried to remove his hand away, but no luck for his grip was very tight. She tried again but then he moved closer and tightened his hold further. Now his face almost touched her and made her uncomfortable. His eyes were closed but suddenly she sensed that he was awake. She turned silent and after some time, he murmured, ‘Kusumita, you are a very nice person.’
She felt, the kid in him has returned but she stayed quiet, did not answer.
He again nudged, ‘Are you still upset with me? Please say!’
She was now forced to speak, ‘No.’
Immediately he opened his eyes, his eyes twinkled and he quickly came above her. ‘I knew it, you can never be mad at me for so long.’
His eyes then traced her lips and he bent to kiss her. She resisted and tried to move away, ‘Nihar, please….’
‘Kusumita, please don’t start your NO again.’ And his kisses trailed her neck. He forced her to open her mouth and moaned loudly to show his impatience as she resisted, in fear she opened it and slowly his actions evoked the feelings of ecstasy. She could feel his delight and she knew it was because he sensed her response. Her mind again warned her and she became stiff.
He opened his eyes……’ still thinking?’
‘No.’ His tone petrified her and she lied.
‘Good…then come on, show me…’
She was confused and looked at him.
‘I want to see that you too want me…!’ his eyes were misted with passion.
She hesitated for a moment but then she knew she was stuck now and moved her hands all over him but inside she knew it was a useless attempt, her hands were not at all warm, not at all feeling him.
He smiled, ‘Liar…! But wait, I know how to make you want me.’
And he started teasing every part of her body with his warm lips. After some time, he stopped for a moment to look at her flushed face; she protested as he stopped.
He laughed, ‘Amazing…! Now you are better.’
She opened her misty eyes quickly and looked at him. His eyes were jubilant making a statement of triumph, and at that moment, she felt like hitting him hard.
But then she knew it was too late; she closed her eyes and encircled her arms around him, as he took her in his arms.
Later, he tightened his hands around her and went into deep sleep leaving her immersed in deep thoughts, her mind wandered about him. He puzzles her with every day passing, sometimes she sees a kid in him but then his demanding eyes at night? Sometimes he is so adamant to be with her but then the next second he starts remembering Radhika so much. Radhika is very much present in his heart.
She felt agitated. ‘Can she spend her whole life with him, always being tortured with the feeling that his love is for someone else? Can she see his yearning for Radhika? Every day her life will be a hell to see him in this pain. Can she do that? No……But why then does he want her? Why does he want her to show love for him? Why does he want to be with her? What is she for him? His anger…when she resists him… It was all so confusing.’
She was confused and her heart popped up a question ‘Kusumita, is it that because he sees Radhika in you and that’s why he is attracted to you?’
Suddenly it made sense to her. She remembered Radhika’s photographs in which she looked like someone who loved life just like her.
She told herself, ‘Kusumita, you and Radhika differ only in clothes. If you start dressing up like her then maybe he will accept you, then maybe he will not show anger toward you.’
At Night
Kusum waited eagerly for him, today was going to be a special day. She looked at herself in the mirror for she had worn one of the outfits which was similar to what she had seen Radhika wearing in the photograph, with similar accessories and also a little bit of make-up.
‘Kusumita, where are you?’ Nihar took her name as soon he entered the room.
She turned back and looked at him. The moment he saw her, he looked shell shocked. She waited for him to say a few words but then she could see his body tensed up with anger, a range of expressions were visible in his eyes.
He almost roared, ‘Kusumita, what is this?’
She was taken aback by his harsh tone, she expected him to be pleased but then seeing his anger, she lost her voice.
‘Kusumita…’ he again shouted at her. ‘Who told you to dress like her?’
‘Nihar…’ She could only manage to utter his name.
He came closer to her, placed his hands on her shoulder and roughly bruised them. ‘I know very well, you are Kusumita. You can never be her. You can never take her place…’
‘Why not…?’ She shot back angrily, her anger and frustration came out like a volcano suddenly erupted.
His voice was equally loud, ‘Because no one can be like her, she is my madness and this you will never understand.’
‘So, what am I? A dustbin where you spit out your physical frustration?’
Astounded, he was taken back for a moment but then his eyes flashed anger. ‘Yes, a very beautiful one…!’
She couldn’t take it; how dare he treat her like that. She slapped him hard and dashed into the bed. He left the room and she heard the closing of the door. She cried out loudly.
But after some time, she sensed him again, very near to her. Immediately she got up and saw him standing very close to her with an apologetic face, she stared at him angrily.
‘Kusumita, I am sorry for what I said.’
‘Go, please go away.’
‘Please, I couldn’t control my anger when I saw you in that outfit.’
‘I don’t want to talk to you. Leave me.’
But he continued, ‘I know I should not have said it but I couldn’t take it seeing you in that attire.’
She kept silent and her sobs increased. He then forcefully made her look in his eyes. ‘Kusumita, I very much know that you are not Radhika. I don’t want you to be like her. I like you the way you are.’
Her ears perched up, what did he say? Her eyes widened with confusion.
He made her sit and looked softly at her, ‘Dear, who told you to dress like her?’
‘I thought, I will get some respect from you if I become like her.’
‘But why you thought so? You have your place in my life. ‘
She could not believe what she heard, hesitatingly she asked him. ‘And Radhika…?’
He was agitated, ‘Radhika….? Kusumita, from now onwards we shall not bring her between us.’
She nodded; her eyes brimmed and she hugged him tightly. She needed this only from him, to assure her that he cares for her. He wiped away her tears and kissed her on the forehead. She responded by kissing his lips lightly. He was taken by surprise and grabbed her hand. She realized she had invited the devil inside him and now she has to face it. She readily wrapped her arms around him.
Later, she woke up as she felt someone stroking her hair, and saw Nihar was softly gazing at her.Seeing her awake, he said, ‘I just realized, I have put you under too much stress with my emotions and I am not at all feeling good about it.’
She was surprised and looked at him questioningly.
He continued, ‘I was thinking, we should go out of Delhi for a while. We should spend some time alone with each other to understand each other better.’
‘Alone? Just the two of us…?’ She widened her eyes in surprise.
‘Yes.’
She nodded. Her eyes shone, finally, she was going to get all happiness…!
Rakhi Sunil Kumar