Part 13: dew and the Mist
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Till now you have read – Kusumita a young girl from a poor family is forced to marry Nihaar Singh who is heir of a rich family of Delhi. Soon she comes to know the reason behind their marriage as Nihaar has a dark past, his first wife Radhika’s mysterious death.
In last part 12, you read how Nihar behaviour confuses Kusumita more.
Part 13 : dew and the Mist
Sunny Breezes!
Kusum woke up as she felt a weight on her and looked beside her. She saw Nihar sleeping with his hand around her waist. She stared at him for a moment and was completely mesmerized by the childlike calmness on his face. Slowly then she removed his hands from her and shifted away.
He woke up and looked at her, and she froze.
‘Nihar…? When you came back…?’ She fumbled.
‘I didn’t want to wake you.’
Slowly she moved away from him.
But he caught her hand, and shirked, ‘What happened?’
‘Please leave me.’ She said in a low but firm tone.
His eyes probed her intensely, ‘No, today you have to tell me. Every time I see this un-comfort in your eyes. Why are you so scared of me?’
Indeed, she was scared but didn’t want him to know about it. Quickly she got down from the bed and stood near the edge of it. He observed her for a moment, he too got down and came closer to her.
‘Tell me…. why are you so scared of me?’ His tone was now harsher.
She stepped back but he caught her and pinned her against the wall. His face was stern, and she was suddenly terrified.
She fumbled, ‘Because I cannot understand you……!’
He looked confused, and almost barked, ‘Don’t understand me? I thought you are the only one in this house who understands me.’
‘No, I don’t understand you.’ Saying she started crying. But her tears did not make any difference to him, he was unperturbed.
He said, ‘Kusumita, I am waiting.’
She looked into his eyes, and then again lowered it, ‘You say no one can take her place in your life, you do all to show your love for her. You went to Manali to do her Barsi. If you love her so much then why do you want me? Why are you here?’
He stared at her for a moment and a smile twinkled. ‘Because you are mine…’
She was awed, ‘Yours…?’
His eyes turned soft, ‘Yes, you belong to me, you are my wife.’
Disgusted, she shouted angrily. ‘And what about you? Do you belong to me?’
He was stunned and took a few steps back. He then roughly removed his hands from her. The softness of his eyes changed into fury. She could feel the heat in his eyes burning her skin; he abruptly left the room.
She sank in deep thoughts, ‘He thinks I am for him and he can do anything with me, he treats me like a plastic doll as if I have no feelings? I don’t get hurt…? But why does he gets so much angry with me…? I cannot understand him.’
After a few days, Midnight
‘Kusumita, get up….’
Dumbfounded, Kusum woke up, saw Nihar sitting beside her and gazing at her intensely. She almost screamed, ‘You…..?’
For the last few days, he had not come near to her, avoided her and today he was back!
He ignored her panic, ‘Kusumita, come with me.’
‘Now….?’
‘Yes.’ He stressed again.
She hesitated, ‘Where….?’
‘Don’t ask so many questions, come with me.’
Hiding away her fears, she nodded and got up. She was petrified but followed him to the terrace. He carried a big packet. On reaching, she could see a neatly arranged table with flowers and lit candles, against the Prussian coloured sky. He placed the packet on the table and opened it. He took out a big size cake from it.
She was now stressed, and curious. He then went to her, clasped his hands with her tightly and looked up at the dark Prussian sky.
Before she could anticipate, he looked up at the sky and shouted, ‘Radhika, you wanted to meet Kusumita. Right…? See I have brought her today, she is a very nice girl; she takes care of me.’
Kusum was now scared to death, a complete paralysis, her mind went numb, so did her body. He then turned back to her, ‘You know, today is Radhika’s Birthday. Earlier we were two but now you are also with us. Will you please now cut the cake for Radhika?’
She stared at him blankly, her voice was dead.
‘Kusumita, please.’ Impatient, he shouted.
Her hands trembled and the knife fell. She quickly picked up the knife and looked at him who was now engrossed looking at the stars.
Petrified, she slowly made her way towards the exit but then heard his voice and stopped like a statue.
‘Radhika, are you listening? I love you and will always love you. But why did you leave me? Why you didn’t trust me? Why?’ and he cried out loudly.
Kusum was horrified and turned towards him, saw him looking at the sky and absorbed in his talks with Radhika. He had completely forgotten about her presence. She hesitated for a moment and without making any sound left the terrace.
She came to the room and quickly got inside the bed. She tried to control her heartbeat but the images of him talking to Radhika flashed again and again. Tears filled in her eyes as she remembered his cries.
She was restless, ‘What is going inside him? Sometimes, he is calm…cool… and then what she saw tonight?’
She waited eagerly for him to return and after some time, she looked outside the window, it was still dark though the dawn had cracked. She could no longer control herself, got out of the bed and rushed to the terrace.
He was still lying on the railing looking up silently. She went near and started picking up the empty alcohol bottles lying on the floor.
He noticed her, ‘Kusumita, come near to me.’
‘Nihar, will you please get down off the railing? You may fall.’
‘Kusumita, nothing will happen to me. I have survived all these years without her, so I will live. I will not die that easily. Come, sit with me.’ He smirked.
‘Nihar, let us go inside the room.’
‘No, I feel annihilated inside the house.’
‘Annihilated…?’ Her eyes popped out.
‘Yes, everyone has doubts in their eyes. Why can’t they just leave me alone? I don’t need anyone in my life.’
‘They love you!’ She tried to convince him.
‘No Kusumita, you too say that you don’t understand me. You too have many questions for me and your eyes….? What do you think, I don’t understand them?’
Her heart ached from his suffering, she was pained and tightly clutched his hands.
‘Kusumita, I know, you also feel that I always force myself on you, always do what I like to do…?’
She didn’t know what to say, she simply nodded…
‘You know, why? I cannot take your NO…I just can’t.’
Bewildered, she looked at him questioningly.
‘I know you are very upset because of my coercing and you know, she also used to be upset with me for the same. She never liked it but then she loved me.’
She was shocked to hear her name from him and anxiously looked at him.
He turned emotional, ‘Kusumita, you know Radhika always felt that we were too young to get married. When we were kids, she had shifted to Canada with her parents. I could not let her go away from my life again. When she returned India, for my strong insistence, she had to agree!’ And he laughed softly.
She became stiff as fear again cruised through her spine and hesitatingly she asked, ‘Why was she not willing for the marriage? Was she not in love with you?’
He looked at her puzzled, amused by her question, ‘No, she was crazy about me, she loved me more than I loved her.’
‘And trust….?’ She asked, and lowered her eyes.
He stared at her for a moment. His eyes were suddenly pained, surely, he didn’t like her question. He got down from the railing, and walking slowly they came down, to their room.
He readied the bed for her as she watched him. He was quite composed now and smiled at her as he tugged her inside the quilt. He then switched off the lights and made himself cosy on the Sofa.
She closed her eyes and tried hard to sleep, a splash of happiness sprinkled, making her exuberant, ‘Yes! He finally talked to her about Radhika…!’ A voice from some corner of her heart cautioned her, ‘Kusumita, you should be jealous, you should not feel happy to hear his feelings for his love Radhika.’
But she felt relieved and she didn’t want to think why. She closed her eyes tightly and didn’t realize when she slept.
Rakhi Sunil Kumar