‘Tum chale jaoge toh sochenge!’
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‘Tum chale jaoge toh sochenge, humne kya khoya humne kya paya!’
(Translation : When you go away, then I will think, what have we lost, what have we found! )
Destined to meet at the wrong juncture of life, we knew we were meant to be as soon we crossed each other in the virtual world. Few chats were all it took, you are here on this earth and so was I for you. The virtual world was undemanding, with no baggage and we just sailed along. Spouses, jobs, cities, music, books all led us to ourselves.
Nothing lasts in life except those within accepted parameters and we lost each other within few years. Like we hummed Jagjit Singh’s song ‘tum chale jaoge toh sochenge, humne kya khoya humne kya paya’. (तुम चले जाओगे तो सोचेंगे, हमने क्या खोया हमने क्या पाया)
One fine day we were gone.
We tried against time, dwelled upon what we lost, what we found! We didn’t know which was more shattering our loss or our gain. We moved on, at least I did and immersed myself in the mundane world fervently.
Seven years after we last met, you informed me, ‘In your city’.
‘Should we meet for coffee sort?’
‘I was thinking lunch.’
No way we were waiting for the tsunami that followed. Seven years of suppressed feelings brought to fore all that we hardly knew existed. All lay bare, looking frantically for answers, which we didn’t have.
The virtual world was in our grip these days unlike a decade ago when we met. We ‘found’ each other, stumbled, faltered, we did not know what to do with the ocean of love we had! It stunned us with its ominous presence and rendered us helpless on its face. Lost, found but as earlier nowhere near acceptable social parameters we stand!
Tumultuous, shaky, confusing and to top it all, the grind called life. I get the perplexing time and again…are we meant to be, I see us drifting away in time and space, I call out in despair.
Tum chale jaoge toh.. do not go! Nahi sochna! We found and only found ourselves, I lost myself to find us!!
Soma Bhattacharjee